I hate feeling like this. I have things to be thankful for. But I’m being consumed by despair. Despair! It would be easier for me to just be ugly, stupid and bad. I will not feel any dissonance or inconsistency. I would have accepted that bad things happen because I am any of those. It would have been easier.
But alas, I was cursed, and I even made it worse.
If I were ugly, I would not expect a lovely fairytale.
If I were stupid, I would not have strived in vain.
If I were bad, I wouldn’t worry or care if I rage.
But alas, I am cursed; my face hid the worse.
They rarely understood, I myself got no clue.
How good things fall in the lap of whores
When the righteous keep knocking on doors?