20160831 – Despair!

I hate feeling like this. I have things to be thankful for. But I’m being consumed by despair. Despair! It would be easier for me to just be ugly, stupid and bad. I will not feel any dissonance or inconsistency. I would have accepted that bad things happen because I am any of those. It would have been easier.

But alas, I was cursed, and I even made it worse.

If I were ugly, I would not expect a lovely fairytale.

If I were stupid, I would not have strived in vain.

If I were bad, I wouldn’t worry or care if I rage.

But alas, I am cursed; my face hid the worse.

They rarely understood, I myself got no clue.

How good things fall in the lap of whores

When the righteous keep knocking on doors?

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