August 11, 2015

I do not deserve the wonderfulness of this day.

The day started again with me running to the Metro, dashing off from the train and sidestepping and racing ahead of the slower ones as I try to catch the bus, or else I’ll wait another thirty minutes for the next one. The people behind me mutter in annoyance; I wanted to explain to them that I have no intention of annoying them, I was in a hurry, that I did not hit them and that I do not want to shell out money for taxi if the bus leave me. But this can’t never happen without me looking like a lunatic, and will they believe me or even care?

The bus ride was usually spent in listening to my favorite Christian songs to calm me for the storm that was the office.

The office was where my efficient monster lurked.

Efficient because she was usually smart and hardworking, finishing her duties as soon as needed, and did not need to be observed to do her job. However every little mistake or sign of stupidity was a fuel for her intense annoyance and tirade of mutter. Such a dilemma. I like her work ethic but personally she’s not that sociable and affable. When I was relaxed I had to compensate by loosening up and being more happy-chatty. I also kept saying that I hope God was not angry with me.

But the afternoon brought me gifts after gifts from Him.

First, my brother called me while I was at the Metro, saying I can collect what he borrowed. I waited for him at their building lobby where this fat cat stays. I loved cuddling, touching cats and this is no exemption.  My brother and I went to a nearby fastfood restaurant and returned part of his loan to me. AED 500 out of AED 800. He was a bit short because we had to send extra to Mother so she can start working already in our area’s local cooperative. My monster raised her eyebrows, but my soul and mouth said, “It’s okay.” He also announced that he would accept a new job offer with a better salary. I stopped eating and prayed for thanks-giving to God for the good news. The grilled chicken meal Kuya  (Brother) treated me with was delicious. Haven’t eaten a good grilled chicken in  a while.

Then there was a very thin cat lurking and meowing. I threw him some meat and cartilage. He kept on meowing, apparently looking for me, but I dare not to repeat throwing food because we were at the fastfood and my brother forbade me.

After we separated ways (he lived in a company accommodation), I saw the thin cat who seemed to have followed us. I touched his / her and he/she was so thin! I went to the small shop and bought a can of tuna. Expensive, like AED 6.5 for such can but I really want to feed the thin cat, who trusted me enough to follow me and let me pat his/her back.

As I go back to the Metro (where I will cross to get to the other side, I saw another resident cat on the grassy area near the Metro. I patted her again and again in happiness. I wish I was home and cuddling my cat and dogs. Then I got attracted to the SALE signage at the local shop and I bought myself some clothes and sandals for AED 59.

I remembered having AED 31 left in my debit card and that I had requested cash back to be credited on my account. So I prayed and hoped that it was already on my debit card, and good enough the POS transaction was a success. I also deposited back the AED 500 to my debit card.

At home, my former landlord (and now just a fellow bedspacer) returned AED 500 out of the AED 750 deposit I gave before in our previous flat. I knew I kind of became really intent on reminding him that I will need it by October in anticipation of the two-month long vacation in the Philippines, and I felt guilty. I looked like too penny-pinching. On the other hand I just thought, it was a necessary push for him to get his advance from our former real estate agents or else they will make things harder. I knew he needed the money back. I hope he did not think bad of me anymore.

The AED 250 can wait ; I might even forget about it in the following months, or conveniently forget about it. It is because I have a plan to leave the flat by first week of November and I felt guilty of doing it. Who would want to spend AED 1050 for a bedspace, more or else at the upper level? Then, I believe the two month’s worth of rent AED 2100 can be better spent in the Philippines. I really feel guilty. I will also have to share a room with my brother and soon-to-be wife, especially his new work will just provide living allowances, not an accommodation.

But God will provide, He will direct me on what to do. One day I might think that looking for a new place to live was too troublesome, and I will ask for the remaining amount, or I will go and maybe let them have it and I will count it as some sort of donation.

That night I slept soundly. God is with me; He takes care of my needs. He will guide me to where He wants me to be. 

gray tabby kitten cat rubbing up against a golden retriever puppy dog in grass in a garden scene with pink flowers behind them.


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