6 Questions I Wish You Wouldn’t Ask

Thought Catalog

Why are you STILL single?

As if there is something wrong with me. As if there is something wrong with being single. Don’t you think that if I knew the pinpointed reason why I’m not cruising on the path toward marriage with a precious gem of a guy who likes to rub my feet underneath a blanket in Central Park on Sunday afternoon, I’d acknowledge it? I’d do something grand to fix it?
Maybe it’s because I eat with my fingers or talk about Obamacare on the first date.

Maybe it’s because the messages I receive on JDate all say something mildly absurd like: If you can talk as good as you look, we are a done deal—babe.”

You’re almost begging me to act all obnoxiously unbecoming and in distasteful amusement answer you with some ditzy remark like: Oh my gosh, I don’t know! The world must be conspiring against…

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