January 12, 2013. Saturday. I woke up feeling refreshed. Odd, I muttered to myself. The whole damn week was just damned: backlog increasing, never-ending issues, looming project deadline, tons of job offers to sit in, meetings and cancelled invites, masterlist mistakes, lack of cooperation, and very unpredictable mixed signals. I remembered breaking down nearly almost the whole afternoon the day before, and the gloomy sky following suit. I remembered feeling more alone than ever in my job. I remembered slowly losing hope in this particular man. And “I Won’t Hold You Back” seemed like the perfect song for the mood. Yeah, just remembering these brought back the tears and the tiredness. People. Can be unintentionally selfish. Insensitive. Only thinking of themselves. There goes my morning, I said, dragging myself off the bed. I still had to go overtime to catch up. I remembered my friend telling me not to be loyal in any company since the company will never ever be loyal to me. I retorted, ” I’m not being loyal, I’m just avoiding backlog.” True. But he had a point: I can be too loyal. Then, when a company can’t reciprocate my loyalty, I pack and take off to another. “We’ll see.” I took off early so I could be in the office by 9am.
I took a very different path from my usual way. I got off at Buendia Station and rode the jeepney going along Buendia. The song playing in my mobile phone was “Breaking Us In Two” by Mandy Moore when the jeepney stopped near FEU Makati at around 9am. I alighted the jeep then cross the left side lane of the road. Then on my periphery I saw a speeding sedan. I turned around to go back where I came from to avoid it but…
A hit on my back, then a blinding flash, colors swirling then a painful thud.
I woke up lying on the street, the weight of my body crushing my right arm. My head was experiencing the most horrible headache it ever felt. My vision was spinning. But I saw motorcycle wheels, and to my horror, a yellow bus ahead. Oh no, no, I won’t be crushed by that bus, I thought. So I raised my upper body and raised my left arm as if to say “No, stop. Don’t run over me.” I felt out of balance, the splitting headache rendered me helpless. Someone pulled me up and brought me to the car. That sedan! But I was shaken. They retrieved my bag and my phone, which was at least a meter away from me (as told later by the driver). I barely remembered what happened but it seemed we were not going to the police station.
I was brought far, to PGH of all hospitals. The driver was younger than I am, nineteen, male. Like a jejemon. Sorry. The aunt claimed to have a close friend there to help out. Okay. No point being choosy. I just wanted my freaking headache gone. But the service was just so bad. They did x-rays and CT-scans of my head and pelvis, where the car hit me. It took a whole day! My headache receded to the right side of my head. The doctors spotted bleeding on my right hemisphere but they said it was negligible. However they kept on repeating my pelvic x-ray in different positions: anterior, posterior, lateral, Judet, inlet, outlet. When they saw the x-rays they judged that I had undisplaced right sacral ala fracture. And they were wondering why I wasn’t puking or was still capable of moving. They asked me to stay for 24 hours for observation. Great, I thought I was okay! It was really boring so I’d got time to observe.
The place was just so unkempt, chaotic. I felt pity for the lack of equipment, harrassed and grumpy young doctors, interns maybe, grossly uncleaned unisex restrooms, and the stench, which thankfully I couldn’t smell until much later when nose wasn’t stuffed anymore. It was pitiful. Conditions were dire. When my parents and sister arrived they were horrified by the scene,they wanted to transfer me to somewhere else but the doctors did not allow this. Lucky to have my space.
I woke up and my right body was in serious pain. My right arm was limp. Whenever I move my right shoulder or arm the pain seared and I can barely keep myself from cussing or whimpering. You see, for a person who prefers doing things for herself, not being able to properly chop soft food with the spoon or open the car door was utterly frustrating. I couldn’t use my arm to carry things heavier than my phone. I had to use my left hand to text. I felt helpless! Then I was careful with my head. The bump at its back was still tender. My spine was not in pain but when I lie down in bed I could hear it crack. I was also afraid.
But I was still discharged by Sunday. When I arrived home I tried undressing myself. It was painful! Dressing up, pretty much the same: Painful. I couldn’t raise my upper body from lying position without the pain from behind. I walked slowly. I avoided bending my back too much. As I’ve read online, undisplaced fractures, meaning, cracks in the bone, would still need at most 6 weeks to fully heal. The doctors were wondering why I hadn’t vomited and I still could move because the fracture was near the lumbar and sacral nerves, that control/innervates the viscera/abdominal organs and the lower extremities. Lucky, I guess? Still my arm and shoulder, and a part of my back hurt like hell.
A total of five persons died during my 24-hour stay. Just so you know. I was in the path of death. But I evaded it. But the others weren’t so fortunate. I felt grateful.
At home I tried my best to rest but candidates kept on contacting me, officemates asking me, stakeholders looking for me. “Pambihira!” I couldn’t rest fully. Can’t do anything about it. Call of duty, I’d say. No problemo. If I can accommodate, why not? If I only have company-issued laptop 🙂
That day was a day of many realizations. Too many maybe I’ll just list them down:
1st. God never abandons me. I believe in this but this is the tangible proof: hit on the spine and head without serious consequences. Anosmia and ageusia, but not ataxia, apraxia, paralysis, whatever. I must have a guardian angel. If I didn’t turn back at the last moment, maybe I was hit worse, my body would had been stuffed under the car. I got away with absolutely no bruise, just one broken bone (but hey I still need to be careful). God loves me.
2. My family really loves me. My father picking fights with the one who hit me, my mom crying and convincing the docs to let us transfer to a better hospital, my sister ignoring the stench to stay beside me. I was touched.
3. My BFF was really there when I need him. He was at home and busy with his family but he took time to visit and make sure the offenders were properly reported to the authorities. That’s a real friend! Not even my former boyfriends could do it.
4. The company may not really care about its employees but one’s fellow employees do. I really don’t want to elaborate on this, I’m still having mixed feelings about my colleagues. But I guess they are genuinely not being happy about what happened. Also, definitely I need to belong to a company as regular staff already so my sick leave is paid, and I have med card and insurance.
5. Life is short. When I saw the oncoming bus after I was hit by the sedan, I thought I ‘d die there. No boyfriend still, not able to reach my dreams yet, haven’t even enjoyed the company of my niece and of my new hard-earned phone, still wasn’t done with work. Then again I think I must also spend my time enjoying life.
Posted from WordPress for Android