End of the Trip

We went to Canyon Cove in Nasugbu, Batangas to have a splashin’ summer outing. For consultants like me, we cannot afford private transportation, and thus we opted to take the bus. With me was Nick, from IT TSS, and the conversation rolled into bachelor prospects as our bus wheels rolled from the highly urbanized Makati to the rural lakesides of Tagaytay and Batangas.

With it I learned that my prospect (not Nick, mind you) had a long-term girlfriend and that there were plans for engagement. I dismissed my disappointment with a quip about not renewing my employment contract since there was no point in staying (“no eligible bachelor, hmp!”)

My mood was lifted, though, when I saw the sprawling turquoise sea and the adjoining pool. It was beautiful; now if I would just be able to see him.

I saw him during eat-outs. And if it was the only way to sneak a look at him, I’d do it. However far he was from me.

And the night rolled in, while Heineken and Vodka Ice poured in. And I saw myself grabbing a bottle, and this was a surprise since I was a drinking virgin, and sipping the bitter lime-tasting vodka drink.

He also grabbed bottles, and drank, and we kept stealing glances.

An entertainer started signing this all-time favorite OPM, singing of dilemma and disappointment. Struck a chord in me, and while his team can see my sudden change in mood, I  grabbed me bottle and sloshed the contents down my throat.

Not before long, we saw their team on the sofas near the glass doors.. They suddenly called the attention of my companion, the company nurse. Later on, Nick told me that we was there and that he had called my attention, but I swore I didn’t hear him. As for that brief period, everything was a blur  as I locked looks with the man I liked and tore the gaze away, feeling that further eye contact would do harm in me already. I have been hurt because a man was not ready to commit; I didn’t want to feel the full blow of the pain because a man I liked was already committed.

I had to calm myself by taking a night dip at the surprising warm pool water. All the while the team was drowning in hard liquor in their suite.

At breakfast, I saw him on the queue near our table. Nick was also in our table.Then he approached Nick and just looked at him, some sort of telepathic conversation in mere seconds, then he left to check out if there was still available food.

I nonchalantly commented, the man’s in bad mood, I see? This man was a supervisor.

He nodded; the others on the table spoke of him as if he was both important and dangerous.

I believe that was the last time I saw him, but on the way back to Makati, my thoughts were with him. And as coconut trees and mountains turn into street lights and towers, I had to decide: I do not have to hurt or harm in order to attain my happiness. I just have to let that particular bus go on, and wait for the next, that might carry me into my destination.

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